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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dutifully yours

There was a henna party back on the 3rd that was a blast and a half. I'm still doing the weekly thing out at Nature's Pharm, and hoping for bookings from people now that the farmer's market season is over.

I wish I had before and after pictures of my work table; after being dedicated to mosaics and clutter-catching for nearly a year, it's actually clean, in anticipation of me getting to work on a calligraphy commission I received not too long ago. I have a month, but I'm still not sure whether that will be enough time.

My embroidery apparently isn't too bad. I think the only reason I find this disconcerting is because I've had too many years of training in not being proud of my ability to pick things up quickly. I admit to being curious, though, to discover whether or not there is anything I truly have no aptitude for. There are plenty of things I'm not trained to do - brain surgery comes to mind - but I'm talking about a natural ability or inclination to be able to do something well.

I mean, I know lots of people who claim they can't sing, but I never met someone who actually could not carry a tune to save their lives until I was in college. Most of the people who say they can't are really just referring to their lack of training, and inability to sound like a pop star - but they can still sing. My husband claims not to be artistic, and he is missing the steadiness of hand and training he would need for delicate work, but he and I form ideas together all the time. He has the eye and the imagination for it, just not the training - and it may be that there is nothing to be done about a shaky hand.

Here I am, laboring under all this low-self-esteem garbage, trying to figure out what there might be that I have absolutely no true ability to do or even to learn.

I read that sentence, and my brain goes, "um... yeeeeah..."

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